Friday, October 10, 2008

So I'm Not A Parent?

I don't discuss work much here because this is really Ian's space. But this is just bugging me TOO much!! There was a "gentleman" in my class today who uttered the words, "you aren't a parent if you've only had one kid." He said it just loud enough so only a few people heard it. A comment in line with the rest of his behavior...

It has made me fume...increasingly so as the day has drug on...

I carried him for 9 months
I altered my diet so he would be healthy
I endured natural child birth for his safety
I worked at nursing him for a month before he could do it on his own
I was sleep deprived for months
I spent countless hours in the living room late at night so Shea could get some sleep
I took him to the doctor every week for three months for a new caste.
I handed him to a doctor and left in tears so they could operate on his foot.
I waited a lifetime to get the cystic fybrosis test results back.
I was spit on.
I was peed on.
I cleaned poop from nooks and crannies.
I rocked him.
I held him.
I fed him.
I sang to him.
I worried about the choices I was making.
I called my mom a million times for help.
I called the doctor to confirm what my mom said.
I watched his milestones hoping he'd hit them.
I breathed a sigh of relief when he took his first steps.
I cried when he said momma for the first time.
I tried everything I could to soothe him so many evenings.
I documented every detail worried that I would miss something.
I slept beside him at night just to hear him breathe.
I held my hand on your chest to check you breathe.
I cried the first time I left you at home so I could go to work.
I cried when I arrived home to your smiling face.
I walked miles pushing you in the stroller just so you could be outside.
I went to work with little sleep.
I wiped your little nose and held your little hand.
I felt a knot at the pit of my stomach as I left you with someone else.
I worried all day about you.
I rushed to pick you up.
I thought I heard you when you weren't even with me.
I felt a surge of panic when I couldn't find you in the house.
I cried in relief when I found you playing quietly in your room.
I needed to laugh and scream the first time you unrolled the toilet paper.
I worried every time you wouldn't eat.
I was so proud the first time you said a word.
I watched as you "read" books.
I took you to the park.
I took you to the zoo.
I took you to the train museum.
I pried you from the swings.
I pried you from the dump truck.
I manuevered you and all of your stuff into the car.
I drove 200 miles with you in the backseat, just you and I.
I dressed you.
I bathed you.
I burped you.
I held you when you cried.
I enrolled you in preschool.
I reassured you the day I dropped you off.
I cried as a left you there.
I put you to bed.
I held you when you were sick.
I comforted you when you were afraid.
I explained why you can't cross the street.
I learned to kick a ball so I could teach you.
I attempt to hide my fear of dogs so you won't share it.
I change your diapers.
I wash your clothes.
I brush your teeth.
I take you to your potty.
I give you stickers of reward.
I praise you.
I worry about the choices I make.
I discuss your future with your dad.
I watch my language.
I watch my moods.
I change my behaviors.
I try to be a person you would admire.
I avoid saying negative things.
I attend parent meetings at your school.
I show you how to save your money.
I provide healthy foods for you.
I keep the house clean and refrigerator stocked.
I show you all the things to see in the world.
I try to explain what it all means.
I carry you when you don't want to walk.
I encourage you to make good choices.
I teach you how to be a good person.
I buckle you in your carseat.
I clean goldfish out of the car.
I extract toys from the couch.

I love you more than anything.

I guess I'm not a parent...


Anonymous said...

Wonderful post Katrina. And, a hex on that old codger whose more than one child doesn't even speak to him anymore.

Your listing of all the "parent" things in the life of Ian gave me goose bumps. Really. No one can ever tell a mother or a father that having more than one precious and wanted and loved little one that they are not a parent.

I do know this ... Ian is a fortunate little guy to have a mom such as you are to him.

This post has started my day out with a bang ... I am off to a soccer game with a smile in my face! Thanks my friend!!!!!
Mollie aka readstoomuch

Michelle Filo said...

what a stupid comment... I am shocked...
anyway, I knoe it bothered you, but read your own post and be reasured you not only are a parent, but you are a dedicated and wonderful one :)

Anonymous said...

I am sorry for that man. And I am so proud of you, brought tears to my eyes, how many parents can really say they are so dedicated...
Love U

Anonymous said...

you should have told him to go blow his nose on a bubble

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh Katrina that last comment was a grandma Hughes comment if I ever heard one...

Anonymous said...

agreed that the man saying such knows NO-THING!! and know that YOU are an incredible PARENT!
awesome post - incredible list...

Heather said...

I loved reading your list and seeing how you went from talking to us about what you do for Ian to talking to Ian about all the things you have and continue to do for him. Your love and dedication to his wellbeing shines so brightly through. You made it about you and Ian and not about that "gentleman" whose comment is so much about him and not his children.

I guess you aren't "a parent"... You are "a great parent", a role model, a protector, a teacher, a friend, a thoughtful parent and person and so much more!!!

Sara said...

WELL SAID! Ian is one lucky little boy to have YOU! Here's to motherhood one child at a time :)

amanda kayte said...

mumzy, that would be because it came from me!!!

Jess said...

right ON!!!! love this....power to the mommy :)

Miss N said...


Aside from the obvious rudeness of the comment, I'll bet that the brood of kids he's raising are going to be a real treat...what our society really needs right now is more people who not only think like him but have the nerve to say it out loud on purpose at a work event. Ugh.


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