I must confess. I like very few of the photo I take.
I find fault in all of them. Something is crooked. Exposure is off. Focus isn't tack sharp on the exact spot in the iris I think it should be. I see it in every photo. Somedays I find myself thinking, I don't want to take photos today because I'm not going to like what I take anyway. I don't hang them on my walls because I'll end up critiquing them.
And then there is the worry that if I show the world the less than perfect photo, somehow that will mark me as a hack. A wannabe. Someone with the means to buy the equipment, but not the knowledge to use it. And since, none of my photos are perfect, i guess that would mean I show you nothing.
I find myself longing for those days when I took pictures without knowing how it all happened or what an aperture or an ISO was. I long for those days where what I focused on most was the moment. The smiling face. The precious child in the frame.
I can look back on photos from a few years ago and definitely see how much I've learned since then. But those photos hold something for me. Just pure intention. The pure intention of documenting my life. Capturing that fleeting moment.
My childhood photos hold that pure intent too. I don't wish they were exposed differently or framed with less clutter. I feel comforted in knowing I have those bits and pieces of my life to look back on. That is enough. They don't need an action or a preset or an adjustment. They just need to be cherished.
I know these feelings will pass. It is a low in the roller coaster ride of photography. Some days there is passionate love and other days there is mere tolerance. I guess that is what makes the ride so fun!
So today. And from this day forward, I'm going to work on just loving my moments. However they land. Whatever they look like. Because they are my life. That is the important thing.
I will stop being so hard on myself.